Category: Self-Care

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Guest Post Self-Care

Guest Post: 5 Ways to Stay Grounded Through Life’s Struggles

Welcome back to Every Blogging Thing! A few months ago I asked a good friend of mine, that I met in the blogging world, to assist me in writing about keeping grounded during hardships in life. As some of you know, Life threw a little curveball at me so I took some time to gather myself, but here I am back and ready to share this wonderful post with you all. Hope you all enjoy! A huge Thank You Shout Out to “The Daily Sunlight” for these great tips. Give a visit to www.thedailysunlight.blogspot.ca

How are you feeling? What’s on your mind? Are you happy with your life? These are the questions that one should ask themselves. It is important to get a reality check to see if you are happy with yourself.
Staying grounded is crucial for your physical and mental care. It helps you connect with who you are and balance your inner self and outer self. As an introvert and someone who has anxiety, I need this. It’s
been a year since I have practiced being grounded and let me tell you that it is a game changer.

5 Ways to Stay Grounded Throughout Life’s Struggles

Stay True to Yourself
Self-acceptance is key. We need to accept our struggles, our achievements, our mind and body, the good and the bad things. There’s a lot of ways to achieve that. You can write in a journal, write your
goals, your strengths and your weaknesses. If you don’t feel comfortable with something, you can change that. The point here is to do something for yourself because you want to. You have to make your
own self your priority. It is only when we accept who we are that we can improve ourselves for the better.
Treat That Body
Physical and mental health are both equally important. We can easily take a lot of stress while trying to manage everything at once. In my case, I have been juggling between work and my studies and as a lot
of you can relate, it can be overwhelming. However, I try to take some time for myself during the day. I think that we should exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes per day. That’s the least we can do for
ourselves. Also, if you stay consistent, you’ll notice great changes. I also like to practice gratitude by writing 3 things I am thankful for in the morning and write a little about how my day was before going to
bed. This can literally change your entire lifestyle.

Surround Yourself With Your People
Apart from having a healthy mind & body, it is also important to have healthy relationships. Don’t be friends with people who you don’t feel comfortable with. We should be surrounded with people who
support us, our goals, our future. We usually get influenced by people that are close to us, might as well be around good people with driven goals.
Take a break
We are not computers, we need a break. I am not saying unplug yourself from social media (unless you want to), but I mean you can do less. If you are someone who’s always productive, you need to take some time for yourself. Taking a break does not mean putting a stop to everything. Let’s say you post three times in a week on Instagram, you can post once a week for a few weeks. It is also okay to ask your boss for a day off. I did that just last week to have more time to study and to relax. You can simply take a break from your everyday life and have some time for yourself. Reminder: taking a break does not mean you are weak, everyone needs this and you come back stronger and ready to get on with your life.
Read
Reading is very beneficial and I understand that some people don’t enjoy it. But, you don’t have to read books, you can read anything else. It could be a magazine, a blog, a newspaper or any subject that you
are interested in. I just think that it is important to have an open mind. Also, reading is very relaxing. Apart from exercising, I also love to spend at least 30 minutes reading (or read one chapter if I don’t
have much time). I think that reading should be a part of your self-care routine.
These are the ways that I practice being grounded which makes me feel more at peace. If you have anxiety, doing these things will definitely help you. It is important to feel yourself from time to time. Also,
doing this just once won’t be much of a help, I’d recommend practicing this daily or at least three times a week.

What are some ways you stay grounded and how does it make you feel? If you haven’t tried this technique yet, do you plan to try it?
Thank you for this opportunity, I am honored to have written for an amazing blog such as yours.

Categories
Self- Improvement Self-Care Self-Love

Choose You

This is written for the person who is always bending over backward for every one else and leaves her/himself for last. This is for the person who chooses everyone else and forgets they also need to be chosen. This is for the person who runs to everyone else when they are in need, and forgets they have needs, too. This is for you.

You have neglected yourself. You are tired and exhausted, but you keep going even though your feet are dragging through the mud leaving your trace of self-abandonment. You have lost your sense of desire…. You’re much to weary to worry about your wants and needs. Besides, you have to stay focused on everyone else and their desiderata.

Except you don’t! It’s time to leave everyone’s responsibilites to them. Choose you. Choose you everyday.

Choose you from the moment you wake up, to the moment you hit the bed to dream away.

It’s okay to want to help those around you, especially those you love dearly. However, it is more important to put everyone else aside from time to time and focus on you and only you. Selfish? No. Not at all. More like necessity. You HAVE to choose you. You have to put others behind you, and put yourself first in line. You don’t have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t owe anyone anything. But you do have to be your own hero, because you owe yourself everything. Know when enough is enough.

How many nights have you cried yourself to sleep from the stressful day you experineced and feel like you can take no more? You’re not even exhausted from tending to your own needs, but to the needs of others. Perhaps, you were the middle man keeping the peace between two people who don’t know how to handle their own mess. Maybe you were busy trying to talk sense into someone who doens’t even want the help, but there you are pouring your entire all into this person. You have got to know when it is time to stop pouring.

Pour No More

Pour into yourself, instead. You are the one who is going to be with you until the end. You are the one who your own body is depending on. Your body isn’t shouting to the world, “Help me, I need help NOW!”, its shouting those words to you. To choose yourself is to hear your body asking for you. To choose you, you are choosing you over any drama, any disrespect, and anymore neglect. Choose you over the people who whisper when you are away, but try to reel you back in when they feel like it or are bored. Choose you when the next person says, “Hey, I can’t do this but maybe you can do it for me.”, yet when you are drowning in your own ocean of bad thoughts, they leave you lifeless down there.

It’s good to help people and to love others. The problem is helping people and loving those who take from you more than they give. It’s not that you should do things to get things back in return. No, but perhaps those you do things for and give a helping hand to every single time, could at least call and check up on you when its not just convenient for them. That is how you will know who really is for you and who really is for what you can offer. That is the difference. Know it and Choose you.

Choose you over the people that pretend to like you, but in reality wish so much against you. Even your own family will do that to you. Let them be and wish them the best while you choose you. Everytime a situation that causes disruption in your peace presents itself, choose you. Choose you over every and anything. Even within yourslef you may have negative thoughts that torment you and make you feel worthless. Shatter those thoughts with your actions by choosing you and taking the time to really love, listen, and be there for you.

Choose you Always.

Categories
Beauty Depression Health Illnesses Mental Health Self-Care

21 Affirmations for Cancer Patients

Cancer does not discriminate. It does not matter your color, race, religion, marital status, sex preference, or anything else. It comes and it comes ready to destroy character, faith, confidence, beliefs, self-worth, mental health, and so much more.

When you get such devastating news your heart breaks into a million pieces as the words vibrate through you, bouncing off every organ and the echoes engrave themselves into your mind.

As we all know, the thoughts that we have reflect within our bodies causing positive outcomes or negative ones. So, I thought I would help those who have just received such tragic news, going through their first round of chemo, or are waiting for some kind of miracle to take over, with some inspirational words for the hard moments. This is for you.

21 Affirmations For Cancer Patients

  1. My scars are proof that my body is healing.

2. I am beautiful with hair and without.

3. Cancer does not define who I am, my strengths do.

4. I am not fighting alone, My friends and Family stand with me.

5. Today was hard, but God will continue to carry me through.

6. My body aches, but I can and will grow healthier and stronger everyday.

7. I am an inspiration to those who are watching my journey

8. My mind is calm. My heart is happy. My soul is peaceful. My body is healing, and my health is already improving.

9. Today is going to be one of the best days I have had in a long time.

10. I can do this. I can fight. I will beat this battle.

11. Today is a step closer toward my recovery.

12. I am going to try to eat today. Small portions are still great portions.

13. I love my body and I will love it back to health.

14. God has a plan. I may not understand it right now, but I trust it.

15. God has me cradled in his hands. I am in good hands.

16. Today I will put my mind at ease and rest my body. Everyone is deserving of a good break.

17. My smile will make someone’s day. It will make my day today.

18. I am worth this fight.

19. The doctors don’t have the final say. The report doesn’t have the final say. Jesus and I have the final say and we both agree this will be done for good. I will be healed!

20. This is just a season, not the rest of my life.

21. Good things are coming and I will remain hopeful.

You Can Do This, You Got This

I know you may be scared for your life, and that is okay. Not only is it okay, but it is completely understandable. Just know that you are not alone. Jesus walks with you every single day, even on your hardest days. He knows you hurt. He knows you are tired. He knows your fear.

You are doing such an amazing job at staying strong. When your body gets tired and you begin to feel weak, listen. Get the rest that your body is asking for. When you feel like giving up, Pray. God hears us and when you don’t have the words, only tears, he understands those, too. You are a warrior!

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Relationships Self- Improvement Self-Care Self-Love

A Prisoner of Love

Being in love is painful ONLY when the one you love is the wrong person for you. The person that you choose to spend your days and nights with, the one you share your body with and connect with, the one who you think will protect you is the same person who is destroying you. That is a hard pill to swallow – to know that the relationship that means so much to you is the same one making you sick.

You see women who are stuck in physical, mental, and/or emotional abusive relationships and you can’t help but wonder, “Why won’t she just leave him?” She wants to, but she is scared. She knows she deserves better, but decides to give it another chance, because this time he just may change. Little does she know, she is deepening the sharp spikes of barb wires inside her skin and the pain will only worsen with time. The cuts will be so deep that her scar tissue will never heal affecting not only her body, but also her mind, heart, soul, and HEALTH.

Affects On Your Health

Yes! Being in such a bad relationship can LITERALLY make you sick. I mean nausea and vomiting, headaches, depression, anxiety, weight loss or weight gain, poor appetite, hair loss, and even cause illnesses to fall upon you due to the stress and misery that you are holding onto ever so tightly. Staying when you know it’s time to go will only prolong the pain.

Your relationship affects your health in ways that you wouldn’t have thought so. What we feel and think on a daily basis needs an outlet. Bottled up emotions find their way out, eventually. When you cannot handle your feelings in a healthy manner such as talking about the problems in the relationship and coming up with solutions or couples therapy, your cup of emotions begins to overflow and manifestations of ailments start to present themselves.

Emotions within our hearts sends signals to our brain and the quality of that signal determines what our brain does in response to that emotion. Therefore, if you constantly feel rage, jealousy, fear, and sadness in your relationship then that will cause disease, inner damage, and that state of resistance that is within you further disrupts your health.

Know When to Leave

Being trapped in a bad relationship is not only detrimental to your mental state and emotions, but also your physical health. And I do say trapped, because that is exactly how many feel. You have the choice to get out of an unhealthy relationship, but your feelings are tangled up in barb wire that it hurts to be in it just as badly as it hurts thinking about exiting. It really is like having withdrawals from the one person you love, but who is no good for you.

While in a bad relationship, your health is getting a beating every single day. Your body will, sooner or later, get weak causing your immune system to also weaken and attract illnesses. You will be left with no choice than to make some changes in your life.

If you feel that you are stuck in a bad relationship and have already seen the changes within yourself, then it is time to find your very own strength and pull those barb wire spikes out one by one, NOW. No matter the pain and suffering that you will feel while your skin is ripping off with those wires, you have to do it to get better. You just have to.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

You must remember that working on a relationship and suffering in a relationship are two completely different things. Don’t get yourself caught up and confused. You can rise from anything and completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent and you are not stuck.

You have to cut ties with that person who is destroying you and also cut ties with the version of you who allowed that to happen in order to be healthy again. I’m telling you, this does affect your health! Stop trying to dodge the process of letting the one who doesn’t deserve your love go, its the only way to grow. Get the strength to say, ” I love you, but you’re no longer worth this pain.

When you choose a life partner you are choosing someone who will affect everything in your life: Your mental health, your peace of mind, the love that lives inside you, how you get through life’s trials, and so much more…. Choose wisely. You cannot carry this baggage that is holding your health hostage any longer. Don’t be a prisoner of love.

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Mental Health Self- Improvement Self-Care

Find Yourself Again

Your life is crumbling down in a whirlwind of chaos. It may be that your marriage is falling apart right before your eyes. Perhaps, you recently discovered your teenager is using drugs. Or maybe you just received catastrophic news about a loved one. These are all traumatic events that happen in life everyday to someone leaving them feeling destroyed, confused, and lost.

You may begin to question yourself on a daily basis, “Where did I go wrong?” “What do I do now?” “How do I move on from this?”. Truth be told, sometimes things just happen to good people and you have no choice but to keep moving forward, regardless what the situation was that occurred. During these tough times, as ironic as it sounds, what helps the most is – Solitude. Gain your individuality again. Learn who you are as a one person. Embrace your feelings of sadness, terror, anger, and uncertainty. To find yourself again, you have to know what you are feeling and instead of fighting those feelings back you have to face them head on.

After dealing with the emotions that have run through you only then will you manage to move forward and leave those feelings behind. It’s time for a change. You may not be who you were before, but instead you are now someone who is stronger and wiser through this impactful experience. This has given you a chance to regain perspective in your life that has most likely been changed in a drastic way. Solitude gives you a chance to work on yourself after being hurt, lied to, cheated on, betrayed, or your views of someone who was important to you have changed. You have to change to remold your character after being crushed. This occurrence that left you unrecognizable to yourself may not be easy to accept, but to find yourself you must accept what has transpired. You don’t like it, but it happened. The more you fight to accept this the harder it will be to find yourself and the deeper the pit you will fall into.

When you lose yourself its not just about finding your character again, but also restoring your self-esteem. Chances are that what you went through also left you feeling really low about yourself. It set you back a million steps, I know the feeling. Give yourself the pep talks that you need daily. Love yourself again. Accept your imperfections, because we all have them. Listen to you. No one knows you better than you, so listen to yourself. You may now have a new tug-o’-war relationship with self doubt, so changing your mindset during this time is also necessary.

We can’t change what comes hitting us like a ton of bricks, but we can find ourselves when we are left with an identity crisis after a psychological shock. You have to know that things happen for a reason and we don’t always get the answers why. It’s not an easy journey finding yourself, but it is necessary. The best part of getting lost though, is finding who you really are. Find yourself, you’ll discover that you love whom you’ve become.

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Depression Self-Care

Are You in Need of Emotional Healing?

Many of us have been in situations where we lose ourselves and struggle to find who we were again. The loss of our own selves due to traumatic interactions is so devastating that we spend much of our time searching for who we were everywhere we go. What we fail to understand is that we are no longer who we used to be.

Circumstances or relationships that were emotionally damaging left us with no choice but to change in every way. It is truly so exhausting knowing that so much sadness and fear live within us when emotional healing is needed, that we change without even realizing it.

There are layers of trauma that we don’t exactly consider as life altering until we sit down and it comes crashing down on us like waves in an ocean. We may have thought that where we were or currently are emotionally is safe and we convince ourselves to believe that we truly are, when in fact, we desperately need healing like never before.

We never think that we need this as badly as we do. We make excuses to not acknowledge our own pain. We let our pain eat at us and don’t realize that it is holding us down from moving on in our lives.

Here are 12 signs that you may be experiencing if you are in need of healing emotional wounds that were left unattended:

Lack of Confidence
Your confidence has dipped lower than your standards at this point. You look to others for approval, when you are the one disapproving of yourself. You feel incompetent in everything you do. You dress up and look good, yet you still compare yourself to others to the point that you make yourself feel bad about how you look and who you are. Lack of confidence only robs you of living your life, reaching your goals, and being proud of who you are.

Feeling Unworthy
People are left feeling unworthy when they are not able to connect to others, especially to someone whom they love and care deeply for. Sometimes in relationships you lose that connection and in losing that you begin to feel like you aren’t worthy of their love or any love for that matter. Even getting a compliment could feel meaningless to you. Accept the compliments and know that you are worthy of love, admiration, respect, and so much more. Never undervalue yourself.

Long for happiness
People who need emotional healing often wonder when their time of happiness is going to come. Happiness comes when they decide to make it happen for themselves. People often rely on their relationships and friendships for happiness. Happiness is something that already lives within and it is up to you to make it come to light or to dim that light. However, being in the wrong relationship could make you lose focus of that and even make you feel like you never even had that choice to begin with.

Self Conscious
It’s okay to be a little self conscious about yourself, even the most successful and most attractive people are. You may be self conscious about your body because you’re still holding on to some baby fat even though your baby is 6 years old. And??? Those curves look good, admire them and work it. Trying to change how you look and how you act is not the way to own your insecurities. That has to be accepted inside of you. Love who you are and you will attract those who will love you.

Doubting yourself
You begin doubting everything you do, from what you wear to what you say. You lose yourself so much that you don’t even know how to think clearly enough to stop making yourself feel like you are crazy. Start trusting yourself again and believe in you.

You overthink
Your mind goes from 0 to 100 in an instant leaving you drowning in thoughts, even some pretty toxic ones. Overthinking is a clear sign that you have been through trauma before. So, now you think of all the things that could go wrong so that you can try to stop it from happening. You can’t live a great life when you overthink everything. There is no peace in that. Let things be what they are going to be and move on.

You have trust issues
You have been lied to so much that even if someone was telling the truth you’d still think you see the lie in their story. Truth comes so rare these days anyway, but that does not mean you can discredit everyone from the get go. Healing is so important because trust is crucial in everyday life. You not only need to trust in your relationships and friendships but also doctors, family, and those you work with.

Anxiety and depression take over
After being emotionally hurt for so long, anxiety and depression take over your entire well being. This can make your everyday life so much harder than what it already is. Giving yourself time to heal is vital so that you can get to being whole again and enjoy your life.

Lack of energy
Another sign that you need healing is not having the energy for anything. Lack of energy will have you neglect things that you once found joy in like drawing, reading, or even spending time with family and friends. You need to find your energy again and get back to doing things that make you laugh and smile.

Feeling sick all the time
As stated before, being emotionally distraught will affect your entire well being. This can range from feeling nauseous everyday, losing your appetite and hardly eating, losing sleep, to having migraines. The list can go on and on. This is a red flag that you are emotionally overwhelmed.

Intuition is gone
This one goes hand in hand with doubting yourself. We are taught to trust our gut feeling and go with it, but if you have been in a toxic relationship then you know the gut feeling is almost always manipulated and undermined by that person. You then lose your sense of intuition and are left with uneasy feelings that you continue to ignore. Your intuition said what it said, be wise and listen to it.

Clinging to toxic people
And lastly, you are in such a bad place emotionally, mentally, and for some, even physically, but you are so afraid of change and of what could happen. Instead of leaving certain people behind that should be left behind you cling on to them even harder no matter how unhealthy it is for you. You need to break your own heart sometimes to heal your soul.

Healing Thoughts

There is nothing to be afraid of. Change is what makes us stronger and wiser humans. You deserve your peace and freedom from your emotional prison. You need to protect your well being, always. And to do that, you must put yourself first. You need healing and that is never a bad thing. In fact, it will help you gain a new perspective in life and love.

Categories
Self- Improvement Self-Care

6 Things Every Lady Should Do Before Leaving the House

Motivation in the morning is a hard task to accomplish especially if it’s a Monday morning. We have all been there! You wake up already dreading the day and you aren’t even aware of the challenges that are waiting for you. But did you know that what you do in the morning sets your tone for the rest of your day? When you are motivated in the morning you are productive the rest of the day. Keep your energy levels high!

I know that our morning routines are already time consuming from getting our hair right and our makeup on point to that cute outfit that will have us turning heads, but these next 6 steps are just as important to have that positive vibe from the beginning of the day to the end. It is said that breakfast is a meal that should not be skipped, well I say these steps are like the breakfast to your soul. Be ready to tackle the day and enjoy every moment of it.

Meditate/ Pray
Everyone has their own way of soothing themselves and finding that inner peace that we need for the day. Some may meditate and others will pray. Whether you need encouragement or peace, this is a good way to begin your day to really get your mind focused on the good and humbled enough to meet the days’ challenges with integrity and wholeness.

Affirmations in the mirror
Affirmations are positive statements that help overcome self sabotaging and negative thoughts, which we all have. And the best time to do that, if not all day, is in the morning right before entering the daily hustle and bustle of the world. Look at yourself in the mirror and talk yourself up. We all need daily reminders that we are amazing and who else will give us nonstop compliments if it’s not us?!
Try these few affirmations while looking yourself in the eye and truly believing it:
“I am filled with joy and happiness today.” ” I am strong and confident.” “No need to compare Myself to others, I am perfect in my own way.” “I am unstoppable.” “I am free from anything that is not positive today.” “I have everything I need to succeed.” “I am valuable and worthy.”

Take a look at your long and short term goals
Every ambitious woman has her list of short and long term goals. If you have your list, frame it and keep it next to your mirror. Take a look at it every morning after getting dressed, to remind yourself of what you need to do to get to where you want to be. If you do not have your list yet, then go make it! Visualizing your future will help you stay focused in accomplishing your dream.

Dance
Dancing helps reduce stress and increases levels of the “feel good” hormone called serotonin. Feeling good right before leaving the house for a long day at work is what everybody needs to get through the day. Put some of your favorite jams on and dance your heart out like you’re performing for the VMAs!

Spray on your favorite perfume
Just like a cute dress, a good perfume can boost your confidence. Women’s faces are rated as more attractive in the presence of a pleasant smell, a study showed. Attraction is not only about good looks, but the way you smell can really catch the eye.

Wear that smile with Pride
Put that gorgeous smile on your sweet face and brighten up everyone’s day. A smile truly goes a long way. Just by smiling at a stranger that you pass will cause them to smile in return thus making them forget their troubles for that instant. By the way, a study found that the stronger the smile, the more attractive a face looked, so go on, Girl, grin like there is no tomorrow and makes someone’s day!

Your day is pretty much formed by how you spend your first hour. Check your thoughts, attitude, and heart. Either you run the day or the day will run you. You choose. Always remember to keep your head up, not your nose up, and wear that crown like the true queen that you are. Go rock the hell out of your days!

Categories
Self-Care

Protecting Your Energy

Have you ever been around someone that just made you feel uneasy and couldn’t put your finger on it as to why? Well, if you didn’t know then you know now, that was your energy trying to tell you that something is off. It warns you about others. Our energies pick up on those who are bad news. It can pick up on those who really don’t like you around and pretend to be loyal to you. It can pick up on someone who is trying to harm you. Your energy is something that is not be shaken, but when threatened it will certainly ring loud bells for you. When your spirit picks up a bad vibe there is no comforting it until they are well away from you. Then your energy will go back to its normal state, leaving you thinking, “What the hell just happened to me?!” Our energies warn us when we are around danger. It helps keep us safe by shaking us when we are not. Everyone needs to listen closely to their energy and how certain people make it react.

Some people can walk into a room and give this calm, soothing feeling that makes you feel relaxed, cozy, and welcomed. Those are the vibes we all want to be around. Then, there are those that walk into a room and leave you feeling unsettled. You are suddenly panicky and ready to leave. They don’t sit well with your spirit and you should not force it. If the people that put out the kind of energy that makes you feel sick to your stomach and on edge are the people that you cannot completely cut off from your life then there are a few things that you should do to keep from having to sage yourself off afterward. However, know that it is okay to snip people right out of your life to keep all well with your soul. There is nothing wrong with tolerating people from afar.

Set boundaries:
Make sure that you put out the energy that gets you respect. You don’t have to be liked by anyone but you damn well deserve to be respected by everyone. You don’t have to do this aggressively at all, in fact, that is not necessary. All you do is respect everyone and they will reciprocate that same energy even if they don’t want to. Your energy is so positive that they will feel like they have to show respect and that’s exactly what you are trying to accomplish. You need to be respected. You set that boundary. They will quickly catch on that you are a meritorious woman.

Be you:
Who cares who likes you and who doesn’t. You are living your life for you and no one else. So let them give those bad vibes out like candy all you need to do is block ’em like Kobe. Laugh, have a good time, dance, and keep your happiness regardless of their misery. Don’t allow anyone to dim your bright shining light within you. You smile and keep doing you regardless of what vibes they are throwing your way.

You can be nice, but you don’t have to be friends:
Know the difference between being nice and making friends. A well raised person is nice to all people even to those that aren’t deserving. However, that does not mean that you have to be their friend. You don’t have to hangout. You don’t have to exchange social media information. You don’t have to take selfies together. You don’t even have to strike up a conversation with them. All that is needed from a classy woman is a simple “hello” and that is all.

Avoid them:
Lastly, my very own personal favorite. When there is an event that I know I will be surrounded by uncouth people who give off sneering energy I don’t even waste my time. There is no one and no event so important to me that I will put my own energy through hell for. I will avoid putting myself in any place or situation that is not peaceful for my soul and you should do the same. I will not go to a party and soak up all the bad vibes only to leave feeling regretful that I did that to myself. That takes too much of me to try and force myself to be at ease when my soul knows it is not well around them. I will not paralyze my very own spirit to allow someone else’s disdained spirit consume me.

It is our priority to take care of ourselves and that includes our spirit, our soul, our energy. There may be times that you may feel doubtful and think it is all in your head that you are making yourself feel that way, but do not do that to yourself. Do not suppress your thoughts or neglect your feelings. That is a sure way to drain your soul every single time. Set healthy boundaries to protect your energy. Learn the language of your body and know when it is on high alert and around who. It is a force of nature, so do not silence it, but listen to it. I have gone and will continue to go to great lengths to protect my mind, soul and energy, will you?

Categories
Self- Improvement Self-Care

Let it go!

As I am sitting in my rocking chair staring out the window, I notice it is a great day. A great day to be happy, to love, and most challenging, but best of all, a great day to finally let go and forgive. We have all been betrayed or hurt by someone we cared deeply for at some point in our lives and some of us are still holding on to the pain. Not only are we allowing the wound to continue bleed out and remain wide open, but we are also allowing it to change us into bitter human beings and turning our hearts to ice. Think: Do you really want to continue hurting while the person(s) who caused the damage already forgot about it or just doesn’t care and is living their best life worry-free? Its time to let it go.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/media/content/images/cr/9046f07a-d71a-4c1e-9d22-7661dd2e5de6.jpg

Now, I understand forgiving is a lot easier said than done (Believe me, it took me years to understand this concept), but learning to let it go (As Elsa says) has helped my heart profoundly. I did a number of things to get me through the process and I am happy to announce that everyone that was on my sh*t list has been crossed off. Whether if we remained friends or I have cut ties with them, they were forgiven.

Let’s make one thing very clear, forgiving the person who hurt you does not make you weak. Forgiving is a characteristic of a strong and wise person. I am sure you all have heard this before and its absolutely true- “Forgiving others isn’t for them, but its for you”. It helps unclog that heart of yours from hate and bitterness and makes room for love, happiness, peace and calmness. That is when really living for yourself begins.

You see, when you hold onto that grudge, you aren’t living a very fulfilling life. You are living a life consumed by hatred and misery. You’re mad at them. You want to call them out on their behavior. You want so bad to get even. That is a lot of energy to spend on one person that hurt you. Even then, afterwards, you are still hurt. You spent nearly all day if not the whole day thinking of them and they could care less how you feel toward them.

What helped me realize that being angry at those who hurt me was making me ugly on the inside was that I would wake up with that heaviness in me. It was a burden that was causing me to think too much about those who really weren’t thinking of me. It was beginning to take a toll on my health: causing headaches, changing my appetite (some days I would over eat and some days I wasn’t feeling hungry at all), I would have mood swings, and a major one- it was depressing me. It really was like I was walking around with a ball and chain around my ankle.

Make a list

So, I began by making a list of those who wronged me at one point or another. For some, it may be your spouse or may be your very own family. Next to their names, I wrote what it was that they did that hurt me. I put that list away.

Journaling

I then began my journey of Gratitude and Self Love journaling. Keeping a journal helped me by switching my focus from the negative to the positive. It helped me to be more thankful for friends who have always stood by my side. It taught me to have gratitude for my job. I began realizing that I am truly blessed – from the family I came from to the family I created. I even grew spiritually.

Self help books

Reading self help books such as, “The Book of Joy” by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams and “The 12 Week Year” by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington, to name a couple, was another step I took during this process.

Back to step one

By this point, I started noticing that the little things were making me smile as if I had forgotten that they existed. Flowers, butterflies, the sky…. I really was taking notice to these things again and they would leave me with a smile. That’s when I knew I was ready to get my list out and start making amends with the list – one name at a time. Really y’all, just like that I was able to let that sh*t go and live for me. I became a better version of myself not to mention a better mother!

I know you may think your pain is too deep to ever let go of, but you can, you have to! It may even be scary to dig up those feelings that you spent all of these years burying down. I am telling you, its worth it! You got this, you can do it. Don’t wait until tomorrow, you’re definitely worth it today. Take back your life. Be a happier you.