Having pride can be such a wonderful thing and a positive personality trait to have. But oh, how having pride can also be a selfish trait that tears your most valued relationships apart. Letting your pride come between you and those you love is not only damaging to you and them, but to everyone in the middle.
In families and even in friendships, there will be disagreements about many things. The best thing you can do is agree to disagree and move on from that subject. Not always is that the case, however.
Many times we let ourselves get caught up in the moment and get overheated that instead of taking things with a grain of salt, we insist on getting our point across and let words slip right off of our tongue’s without thinking about the consequences or how deep those words cut. Sometimes, it’s not just our words that hit hard, but our actions.
I was watching an episode of “This Is Us” and there was a scene where Kevin told his adopted brother, Russell, “I used to think the worst day of my life was when dad died, but it was the day they brought you home.” Though, this is just a television series things like this happen in real life and words can’t be taken back. A few scenes later Kevin regretted what he had said, but instead of apologizing to his brother Randall, when he saw him a few days after he just tried to be nice and strike up a conversation about anything, really. As if that would fix what had happened between them a few days before or make up for the words that were already said.
Beating around the bush does not mean the elephant isn’t in the room. Pretending like y’all have moved on is not a fix to any problem. You cannot just sweep things under the rug hoping the issue will disappear. Sometimes, In life there will be times that you are wrong… actually, many times… and all you can do to make things right is take responsibility, apologize, and learn how to control your reactions and your words.
We are human and it is inevitable that we will find ourselves in such a predicament that will urge us to say and do hurtful things to another out of anger. However, being angry does not justify such behavior. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is gather your belongings and leave before things take an ugly turn.
On a different note if things have already gotten out of hand, knowing when you are wrong and taking accountability for what you have done is what matters after that point. This is where pride usually stands in the way for many.
Things can be different when you take accountability resulting in mending relationships. Many Marriages fail simply from being too prideful. No one wants to look weak and apologize or accept apologies from the other. Relationships between siblings or parents and children suffer the same. All for what, your pride?
We are all human, we all make wrong choices, say wrong things, and react in not such great ways from time to time. Is you not wanting to say sorry because you don’t want to look dumb or weak or be rejected worth losing your close relationship with your brothers and sisters? Are you really that afraid to show that you have a conscience and have a heart that you would rather lose your childhood friend to a disagreement? Are you so ashamed to admit you could be wrong that you would rather ignore your spouse and best friend for the next few months possibly risking getting a divorce over something so minute?
Life is short. Grudges are a waste of time that we can’t get back. At the end of the day your pride could be ruining your time with someone who would run to you in an instant to help you. You only have one family, make things right. Your wife/husband probably has no clue how you feel or how hurt/angry you are and needs to understand, but you aren’t teaching them your needs. Communicate. There is nothing weak about a person who acknowledges their wrongdoings and owns up to them.
Absolutely, boundaries are needed and some things just shouldn’t be said or done, but there is nothing worse than waking up one day knowing you missed your opportunity to speak to them again, to change your prideful ways, to hug, laugh, kiss, and enjoy them…. to say sorry and start fresh again.
If you aren’t speaking to someone over money, remember money comes and goes. If you aren’t speaking to someone because you have different opinions over politics or what is happening in the world, leave it alone, everyone is entitled to their opinion and they won’t be the last to disagree with you. If someone has gone above and beyond, bent over backwards for you, given you a hand when you were at your lowest, fix things with them because you will never find anyone with that kind of heart and love again.
Whether you have grown apart from your mom and dad, your sister or brother, or even your own kids due to your hurtful words or actions, it is up to you to make things right. Reach out, open up, and talk to them. Mend the quarrel. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong and accept apologies from those who hurt you. “I’m Sorry” never made things worse, but brought people back together. Reach out and make a new beginning before it’s too late.
19 replies on “Mending Broken Bridges”
This was a very helpful blog, keep up the great work I’m so proud of you
Thanks for this amazing post! I totally agree with life being too short!
Oh, but Many don’t realize…. thank you for stopping by.
Wow this is such an interesting way of looking at things most people experience at some point. Thank you!
And it’s somethung everyone knows,but that pride gets in the way.
One of the things I’m good at is not losing my shit and saying something out of anger, so if I decided to burn a bridge it’s for a very good reason. I’ve cut friends out of my life for sharing far right content, and I did the same to my mum. But my mum’s level of bigotry knows no bounds. Hearing about the white genocide and white replacement conspiracy is not want you want to hear from your white mum when you’re a black man whose experience of racism growing up caused suicidal behaviour by the time I was 8. Some bridges just shouldn’t be mended
This is also true, especially in cases such as these. Boundaries and taking care of you should always come before anyone else who disrespects you and affects your mental state. That’s when taking the loss is worth more than mending the broken bridge.
So sorry for what happened between your mum and you. You are right; sometimes, we have to stand up to loved ones and friends for their ignorance and bigotry, not out of pride; but because of morality and for one’s mental health.
I think that relationships can definitely be mended if both people are willing to work on it, but sometimes if one side gives up there’s not much you can do! It’s always important to try though x
Mending relationships, if appropriate and safe to do so, can be so hard to navigate, but an important part of our learning as we go through life. Sometime bridges need to be broken, temporarily or permanently and knowing the difference isn’t always clear so I really like the fact that you share how it can be done if that moment comes about.
Great and helpful post, lots of persons definitely don’t take accountability because of pride. I have no issue saying sorry, I’m a person that wants to fix the issue or it’s just gonna linger in my mind. I have issue with expressing how I feel properly about the issue sometimes. It’s really annoying but I’m making the steps to be a better communicato r.
Wow! Outstanding article! I tend to be honest when people ask me why I don’t care for them (my face gets me into a lot of trouble), so I’m here a lot. Thank you for the advice and keeping my pride in check!
Thanks for writing on such a needed topic, everything you wrote and mentioned to overcome one’s pride takes anyone one step closer to a healthier relationship and towards better understandings.
I am the most stubborn person in the world! This post really hits close to home!
LOL! We are all stubborn, but it’s great when we can take notice of it.
Great advice. How silly it is when we hold a grudge because of our pride. Life is too short to not value every single moment we have with one another : ) Thank you for your encouragement.
I needed this!!! Lord knows I’m super prideful and a lots of the time I just cut people off. I don’t care once I’m angry and mean things I say sometimes just aren’t ok. No matter how much good I do thats my problem.. so you got tears outta me today love this helped. Love you like a fat kid love cake!!!!!
I’m so happy this reached you!!! Thanks for visiting!! XoXo