Mending Broken Bridges

Having pride can be such a wonderful thing and a positive personality trait to have. But oh, how having pride can also be a selfish trait that tears your most valued relationships apart. Letting your pride come between you and those you love is not only damaging to you and them, but to everyone in the middle.

In families and even in friendships, there will be disagreements about many things. The best thing you can do is agree to disagree and move on from that subject. Not always is that the case, however.

Many times we let ourselves get caught up in the moment and get overheated that instead of taking things with a grain of salt, we insist on getting our point across and let words slip right off of our tongue’s without thinking about the consequences or how deep those words cut. Sometimes, it’s not just our words that hit hard, but our actions.

I was watching an episode of “This Is Us” and there was a scene where Kevin told his adopted brother, Russell, “I used to think the worst day of my life was when dad died, but it was the day they brought you home.” Though, this is just a television series things like this happen in real life and words can’t be taken back. A few scenes later Kevin regretted what he had said, but instead of apologizing to his brother Randall, when he saw him a few days after he just tried to be nice and strike up a conversation about anything, really. As if that would fix what had happened between them a few days before or make up for the words that were already said.

Beating around the bush does not mean the elephant isn’t in the room. Pretending like y’all have moved on is not a fix to any problem. You cannot just sweep things under the rug hoping the issue will disappear. Sometimes, In life there will be times that you are wrong… actually, many times… and all you can do to make things right is take responsibility, apologize, and learn how to control your reactions and your words.

We are human and it is inevitable that we will find ourselves in such a predicament that will urge us to say and do hurtful things to another out of anger. However, being angry does not justify such behavior. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is gather your belongings and leave before things take an ugly turn.

On a different note if things have already gotten out of hand, knowing when you are wrong and taking accountability for what you have done is what matters after that point. This is where pride usually stands in the way for many.

Things can be different when you take accountability resulting in mending relationships. Many Marriages fail simply from being too prideful. No one wants to look weak and apologize or accept apologies from the other. Relationships between siblings or parents and children suffer the same. All for what, your pride?

We are all human, we all make wrong choices, say wrong things, and react in not such great ways from time to time. Is you not wanting to say sorry because you don’t want to look dumb or weak or be rejected worth losing your close relationship with your brothers and sisters? Are you really that afraid to show that you have a conscience and have a heart that you would rather lose your childhood friend to a disagreement? Are you so ashamed to admit you could be wrong that you would rather ignore your spouse and best friend for the next few months possibly risking getting a divorce over something so minute?

Life is short. Grudges are a waste of time that we can’t get back. At the end of the day your pride could be ruining your time with someone who would run to you in an instant to help you. You only have one family, make things right. Your wife/husband probably has no clue how you feel or how hurt/angry you are and needs to understand, but you aren’t teaching them your needs. Communicate. There is nothing weak about a person who acknowledges their wrongdoings and owns up to them.

Absolutely, boundaries are needed and some things just shouldn’t be said or done, but there is nothing worse than waking up one day knowing you missed your opportunity to speak to them again, to change your prideful ways, to hug, laugh, kiss, and enjoy them…. to say sorry and start fresh again.

If you aren’t speaking to someone over money, remember money comes and goes. If you aren’t speaking to someone because you have different opinions over politics or what is happening in the world, leave it alone, everyone is entitled to their opinion and they won’t be the last to disagree with you. If someone has gone above and beyond, bent over backwards for you, given you a hand when you were at your lowest, fix things with them because you will never find anyone with that kind of heart and love again.

Whether you have grown apart from your mom and dad, your sister or brother, or even your own kids due to your hurtful words or actions, it is up to you to make things right. Reach out, open up, and talk to them. Mend the quarrel. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong and accept apologies from those who hurt you. “I’m Sorry” never made things worse, but brought people back together. Reach out and make a new beginning before it’s too late.