Depression Self-Care

Are You in Need of Emotional Healing?

Many of us have been in situations where we lose ourselves and struggle to find who we were again. The loss of our own selves due to traumatic interactions is so devastating that we spend much of our time searching for who we were everywhere we go. What we fail to understand is that we are no longer who we used to be.

Circumstances or relationships that were emotionally damaging left us with no choice but to change in every way. It is truly so exhausting knowing that so much sadness and fear live within us when emotional healing is needed, that we change without even realizing it.

There are layers of trauma that we don’t exactly consider as life altering until we sit down and it comes crashing down on us like waves in an ocean. We may have thought that where we were or currently are emotionally is safe and we convince ourselves to believe that we truly are, when in fact, we desperately need healing like never before.

We never think that we need this as badly as we do. We make excuses to not acknowledge our own pain. We let our pain eat at us and don’t realize that it is holding us down from moving on in our lives.

Here are 12 signs that you may be experiencing if you are in need of healing emotional wounds that were left unattended:

Lack of Confidence
Your confidence has dipped lower than your standards at this point. You look to others for approval, when you are the one disapproving of yourself. You feel incompetent in everything you do. You dress up and look good, yet you still compare yourself to others to the point that you make yourself feel bad about how you look and who you are. Lack of confidence only robs you of living your life, reaching your goals, and being proud of who you are.

Feeling Unworthy
People are left feeling unworthy when they are not able to connect to others, especially to someone whom they love and care deeply for. Sometimes in relationships you lose that connection and in losing that you begin to feel like you aren’t worthy of their love or any love for that matter. Even getting a compliment could feel meaningless to you. Accept the compliments and know that you are worthy of love, admiration, respect, and so much more. Never undervalue yourself.

Long for happiness
People who need emotional healing often wonder when their time of happiness is going to come. Happiness comes when they decide to make it happen for themselves. People often rely on their relationships and friendships for happiness. Happiness is something that already lives within and it is up to you to make it come to light or to dim that light. However, being in the wrong relationship could make you lose focus of that and even make you feel like you never even had that choice to begin with.

Self Conscious
It’s okay to be a little self conscious about yourself, even the most successful and most attractive people are. You may be self conscious about your body because you’re still holding on to some baby fat even though your baby is 6 years old. And??? Those curves look good, admire them and work it. Trying to change how you look and how you act is not the way to own your insecurities. That has to be accepted inside of you. Love who you are and you will attract those who will love you.

Doubting yourself
You begin doubting everything you do, from what you wear to what you say. You lose yourself so much that you don’t even know how to think clearly enough to stop making yourself feel like you are crazy. Start trusting yourself again and believe in you.

You overthink
Your mind goes from 0 to 100 in an instant leaving you drowning in thoughts, even some pretty toxic ones. Overthinking is a clear sign that you have been through trauma before. So, now you think of all the things that could go wrong so that you can try to stop it from happening. You can’t live a great life when you overthink everything. There is no peace in that. Let things be what they are going to be and move on.

You have trust issues
You have been lied to so much that even if someone was telling the truth you’d still think you see the lie in their story. Truth comes so rare these days anyway, but that does not mean you can discredit everyone from the get go. Healing is so important because trust is crucial in everyday life. You not only need to trust in your relationships and friendships but also doctors, family, and those you work with.

Anxiety and depression take over
After being emotionally hurt for so long, anxiety and depression take over your entire well being. This can make your everyday life so much harder than what it already is. Giving yourself time to heal is vital so that you can get to being whole again and enjoy your life.

Lack of energy
Another sign that you need healing is not having the energy for anything. Lack of energy will have you neglect things that you once found joy in like drawing, reading, or even spending time with family and friends. You need to find your energy again and get back to doing things that make you laugh and smile.

Feeling sick all the time
As stated before, being emotionally distraught will affect your entire well being. This can range from feeling nauseous everyday, losing your appetite and hardly eating, losing sleep, to having migraines. The list can go on and on. This is a red flag that you are emotionally overwhelmed.

Intuition is gone
This one goes hand in hand with doubting yourself. We are taught to trust our gut feeling and go with it, but if you have been in a toxic relationship then you know the gut feeling is almost always manipulated and undermined by that person. You then lose your sense of intuition and are left with uneasy feelings that you continue to ignore. Your intuition said what it said, be wise and listen to it.

Clinging to toxic people
And lastly, you are in such a bad place emotionally, mentally, and for some, even physically, but you are so afraid of change and of what could happen. Instead of leaving certain people behind that should be left behind you cling on to them even harder no matter how unhealthy it is for you. You need to break your own heart sometimes to heal your soul.

Healing Thoughts

There is nothing to be afraid of. Change is what makes us stronger and wiser humans. You deserve your peace and freedom from your emotional prison. You need to protect your well being, always. And to do that, you must put yourself first. You need healing and that is never a bad thing. In fact, it will help you gain a new perspective in life and love.


What You Didn’t Know About H2O

I chose one of the least popular topics to write about for this next blog, but I truly believe that the details I have found on drinking the appropriate amounts of water daily will WOW you. Water is not the number one choice of beverage for most people and I honestly can’t say I blame them. Now, I know water can be boring and have “no taste”, but don’t be fooled into falling into that trap…. Add lemon, kiwi, strawberries, even honey to your water and really quench your thirst. Plus, reap the benefits from it and if you do not know what benefits I am talking about just keep reading and be flabbergasted!

Some of the information mentioned below are those that have been told to us by our parents who tried to get us to drink water as much as possible when we were kids riding our bikes in the blasting summer heat, and they weren’t fibbing. However, some facts that I have gathered for this particular piece, I hadn’t learned up until now and am excited to share with you.

The advantages to drinking H2O:

1. Water Helps avoid headaches
With summer here, the heat is a constant bother, now add dehydration and you’ve got a big problem. Mild dehydration may trigger headaches. It is said by experts that a loss of electrolytes cause nerves in the brain to produce pain signals- hence your headache. Staying hydrated is key to keeping the troublesome aches away as well as treating it. Room temperature works best as cold water will only intensify the pain.

2. Relieves constipation
It is no false claim that water helps keep the GI tract moving. If you are not drinking water as much as you should, you might be suffering from mild to severe constipation. Water helps loosen stools sending them on their way.

3. Pass and avoid kidney stones
People who produce 2-2.5 liters of urine are less likely to develop kidney stones than those who produce less. In order to produce that amount of urine it takes eight to ten 8-ounce glasses of water. Drinking water helps move stones through the urinary tract and flushes toxins out avoiding new formations.

4. Aids in weight loss
Water helps boost your metabolism and makes you feel fuller; suppressing your appetite. Drinking more water keeps your body from retaining water, ironically. Which leads to the loss of water weight. Replacing a soda or other sugary drinks such as lemonade or sweet tea with water will also cut down your calorie intake.

5. Boosts skin health
Due to the ability of flushing out toxins, water helps in calming skin irritations such as eczema, wrinkles, psoriasis, and acne resulting in enhanced complexion and gleaming, healthy skin.

6. Regulates body temperature
Body temperature must remain regulated in order to function properly. When the body temperature is unable to be maintianed, the human body becomes impeded causing blood flow reduction and possibly a stroke. That is why heat strokes are so common during the summer. In order for the body to stay regulated, water intake is imperative. Even while working out, you are expelling water through your pores. Stay hydrated!

7. Maintains blood pressure
If you are at a constant battle to lower your blood pessure then look no further! Water is one of the best ways to lower your blood pressure naturally. Drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water per day. On days you workout, ten 8-ounce glasses of water are necessary.

8. Washes away cavity causing bacteria
Not only is swishing water after eating perfect for washing away left over food and residue that can cause cavities, but also drinking water regularly keeps teeth clean for the meantime until you are able to brush again.

9. Produces saliva reducing dry mouth
Dry mouth is most times a side effect from medications one is taking. Saliva contains substances such as electrolytes, mucus, antibacterial compounds and enzymes. It helps you chew, taste, and moisten your food to swallow down, preventing choking incidents. Drinking water assists in producing saliva at an ideal rate lessening dry mouth.

10. Strengthens your teeth
Fluoride is a cavity fighter. I know nobody likes to drink tap water, but it not only helps fight cavities it also helps keep your teeth strong. Your local tap water is the most cost effective way to prevent tooth decay!

11. Washes away bacteria that causes bad breath
The primary cause of bad breath are food particles that are sticking to your teeth and gums. When there is no way for you to floss all that junk out from your mouth, the next best thing would be to drink water. As mentioned before, water washes away food particles and fights bad breath.

12. Helps the brain react faster
Our brains work 24/7 to keep things running smoothly within our bodies so we must keep it hydrated. We want to make sure that when a message comes into the brain from anywhere in our bodies, our brain reacts quickly and correctly.

13. Think with more clarity and creativity
Have an important exam tomorrow morning? Drink water and pass with flying colors. Your brain works 14% faster when you drink just 3 glasses of water in the morning. Even a 2% drop in hydration can make it hard for us to focus and concentrate. Therefore, hydrated brains tend to work with more creativity and think with more clarity.

14. Helps balance your mood and emotions
Lack of water can leave you feeling restless, fatigued, and just not your best. Taking in the right amounts of water help you feel calm and ready to get things done. You are more prepared to accomplish things leading you to feel positive and upbeat about your day.

15. Helps manage anxiety
Water has natural calming components that are extremely useful when you suffer from anxiety. If you are in the middle of a panic attack/anxiety attack, sit down and drink some water. You will see what a difference it makes in helping you get out of that scary feeling. Drinking water is salient in controling your anxiety.

16. Improves sexual performance
This is a touchy subject, but if it helps why not bring it up? If you are having difficutly in staying lubricated during sexual intercourse and are not really wanting to depend on the types of lubricants that are out there, then this will def be helpful to you. Tissue dehydration can lead to vaginal dehydration and water is a natural lubricant that has come to your rescue!

17. Experience better and longer orgasms
When the body is hydrated properly, there is more blood flowing to the genital areas, which lead you to have better and longer orgasms! Bet this is one fact you didn’t know of!

18. Assists with hair growth
Drinking 2 liters of water a day supports the vitamins that are needed for hair growth and also helps with the strength of it from root to tip. It helps prevent split ends and brittle hair texture.

I hope this was as interesting for you as it was for me. Drinking water really has tons of benefits and it really does the body good, inside and out. If there are any fruits that you are crazy about remember you can throw them into your water to add that taste that you love. I know that there are recommendations on about how much water you should drink, and I also know that not every body is the same. The amount also varies on your age and weight and has factors that play into it. To further help you on how much water YOUR body requires you can visit and fill in your weight, activity level, and age and it will enumerate the amount of water you should be drinking. Give it a try and good luck!


Anxiety and COVID

I have become so homesick while being at home. It’s like everything I’ve ever known about life and living is changing right before my eyes and I don’t know what to do with it. As a child, I always went to my mom to feel better, to feel safe. She was what helped me in times of uncertainty as any mother would for her child. But who do I run to now? I’m a grown woman who has to figure this out and be strong. I cannot be around my elderly parents during this time of crisis, for their own health is at stake. And to be around my siblings is just as bad. I, too, am a mother and I know my own child is clinging onto me for support and consistency. But what do you do when that consistency your child is longing for is no longer possible?

Weekends were always a good time. Holidays were a sure thing to be spent with family and friends. Birthdays were celebrated with those we loved. Work was a safe place. And on other days just hanging out with friends and going shopping or to the movies was never a bad idea. The world as we know it has been changed and it’s something that is hard for all of us to wrap our heads around. For some, it is even harder for our minds to accept. Dealing with anxiety, change is already a challenge. Add chaos to the world and not seeing your family, now that’s just a disastrous feeling.

Millions of people may be experiencing mental instability right now with this virus hovering over the world. It is especially wearisome for those whose family are battling the virus and maybe even themselves. The stress is overwhelming and the unpredictability of our tomorrow only intensifies this feeling of uneasiness and discomfort. As much as we would love to be in control, we must remember that we simply can’t. The only thing we can do is remind ourselves that right now we are breathing. Right now we are alive and we will make it out of this.

Finding Ourselves Amidst COVID
We have to try to live life in such a way that doesn’t remind us of our everyday struggle with the virus. I am not saying don’t wear your mask and go out into crowds and visit people! No,no,no don’t be doing all of that, WE ARE TRYING TO FLATTEN THE CURVE, PEOPLE. Stay at home and do things that will help keep your mind off of the craziness. Wake up in the morning, make your bed (a made up bed gives such a serene feeling) and drink your water and coffee. If you never were one to work out, start! Do a few jumping jacks, a couple push ups, some high knees and maybe a couple squats. Take your bath while listening to some crunk music that really gets you motivated and moving. Dress to impress, yes even if you aren’t going anywhere…. You better do your make-up, do your hair and put that “feel good” outfit on. If you look good, you will feel good even if its just a little bit. Anything counts when dealing with anxiety. I’ve done it for years and this works most times. Open up your blinds and doors to let that beautiful sunshine beam into your home. The brighter your space, the better you feel. Sit down and scribble out what you would like to accomplish today whether its clearing out that closet, re-arranging your spice cabinet, or just jotting down what you need to make it a relaxing day for yourself. Whatever you do, avoid the news. That just causes more anxiety. Figure out what you are going to cook and do it with some music on whether its gospel or rap, just anything that gets those hips moving and back to your happy place. Dance while spicing up those ribs! Once the sun goes down a bit go outside for some fresh air. Even if it’s to sit on your porch steps, just take some deep breaths and find yourself back in peace. Water your plants and grass. Go for a little walk around the block. After a day of keeping your head as clear as can be there is no better way of bringing it to an end, but with a steaming hot shower and some calming music to heal the soul. Massage your scalp as you shampoo and condition, massage your neck, shoulders, and feet as you soap up.

The Reality of this Disorder
I know that anxiety is hard to deal with. I, myself, have dealt with it for years and still continue to struggle with it almost everyday. There is no way to make this awful, gut-wrenching feeling go away completely, but the above could help. Even if it is just for a day, it helps. I know our heads seem to want to explode with emotions and thoughts. Anyone can say, “Try this, it helps” and it won’t mean a thing, but it is really up to us, ourselves to make us feel okay. There are days I find myself lost and all I can do is pray and pray, all day. That is what helps me. It may not help 100% of the time and when it doesn’t I have to figure out another way to crawl out of that black hole that anxiety tends to pull us into. Do not do things that will drown you further. As bad as you want to dwell in your bed and let it sink you in, get up. As bad as you want to curl up on the floor and cry all day, do it for a few minutes, instead. Though you may not have an appetite, food will help, try one bite. Your headache won’t go away and you don’t want to move, take an Advil or Tylenol and lay on your couch and watch some Netflix (nothing depressing, please!). There are things we can do to help ourselves, nothing is too small or too big to help manage our mindsets. You are not alone, we are all in this together even though it seems as though everyone you know and love is 100 miles away from you.

If you have not dealt with anxiety before in your life and have not been feeling like yourself, perhaps you are feeling off and just out of focus, then you may be experiencing some form of anxiety.

Here are the list of common symptoms that you or someone you know may be experiencing with anxiety:
• Nervousness
• Feeling of being in danger
• Feeling of uneasiness
• Palpitations
• Rapid breathing or hyperventilating
• Chest pain or tightness
• Sudden sweating
• Trembling or twitching
• Feeling weak or faint
• Unable to focus or think clearly about anything other than the problem
• Nausea
• Dizziness
• Feeling of losing control
• Feeling like you are going crazy

If you cannot control this on your own that is okay. It is always okay to not be okay. Consult with your doctor if you feel like this is out of your hands and you can’t find your way out. Never be scared or ashamed to ask for help.