Your life is crumbling down in a whirlwind of chaos. It may be that your marriage is falling apart right before your eyes. Perhaps, you recently discovered your teenager is using drugs. Or maybe you just received catastrophic news about a loved one. These are all traumatic events that happen in life everyday to someone leaving them feeling destroyed, confused, and lost.
You may begin to question yourself on a daily basis, “Where did I go wrong?” “What do I do now?” “How do I move on from this?”. Truth be told, sometimes things just happen to good people and you have no choice but to keep moving forward, regardless what the situation was that occurred. During these tough times, as ironic as it sounds, what helps the most is – Solitude. Gain your individuality again. Learn who you are as a one person. Embrace your feelings of sadness, terror, anger, and uncertainty. To find yourself again, you have to know what you are feeling and instead of fighting those feelings back you have to face them head on.
After dealing with the emotions that have run through you only then will you manage to move forward and leave those feelings behind. It’s time for a change. You may not be who you were before, but instead you are now someone who is stronger and wiser through this impactful experience. This has given you a chance to regain perspective in your life that has most likely been changed in a drastic way. Solitude gives you a chance to work on yourself after being hurt, lied to, cheated on, betrayed, or your views of someone who was important to you have changed. You have to change to remold your character after being crushed. This occurrence that left you unrecognizable to yourself may not be easy to accept, but to find yourself you must accept what has transpired. You don’t like it, but it happened. The more you fight to accept this the harder it will be to find yourself and the deeper the pit you will fall into.
When you lose yourself its not just about finding your character again, but also restoring your self-esteem. Chances are that what you went through also left you feeling really low about yourself. It set you back a million steps, I know the feeling. Give yourself the pep talks that you need daily. Love yourself again. Accept your imperfections, because we all have them. Listen to you. No one knows you better than you, so listen to yourself. You may now have a new tug-o’-war relationship with self doubt, so changing your mindset during this time is also necessary.
We can’t change what comes hitting us like a ton of bricks, but we can find ourselves when we are left with an identity crisis after a psychological shock. You have to know that things happen for a reason and we don’t always get the answers why. It’s not an easy journey finding yourself, but it is necessary. The best part of getting lost though, is finding who you really are. Find yourself, you’ll discover that you love whom you’ve become.
Many of us have been in situations where we lose ourselves and struggle to find who we were again. The loss of our own selves due to traumatic interactions is so devastating that we spend much of our time searching for who we were everywhere we go. What we fail to understand is that we are no longer who we used to be.
Circumstances or relationships that were emotionally damaging left us with no choice but to change in every way. It is truly so exhausting knowing that so much sadness and fear live within us when emotional healing is needed, that we change without even realizing it.
There are layers of trauma that we don’t exactly consider as life altering until we sit down and it comes crashing down on us like waves in an ocean. We may have thought that where we were or currently are emotionally is safe and we convince ourselves to believe that we truly are, when in fact, we desperately need healing like never before.
We never think that we need this as badly as we do. We make excuses to not acknowledge our own pain. We let our pain eat at us and don’t realize that it is holding us down from moving on in our lives.
Here are 12 signs that you may be experiencing if you are in need of healing emotional wounds that were left unattended:
Lack of Confidence Your confidence has dipped lower than your standards at this point. You look to others for approval, when you are the one disapproving of yourself. You feel incompetent in everything you do. You dress up and look good, yet you still compare yourself to others to the point that you make yourself feel bad about how you look and who you are. Lack of confidence only robs you of living your life, reaching your goals, and being proud of who you are.
Feeling Unworthy People are left feeling unworthy when they are not able to connect to others, especially to someone whom they love and care deeply for. Sometimes in relationships you lose that connection and in losing that you begin to feel like you aren’t worthy of their love or any love for that matter. Even getting a compliment could feel meaningless to you. Accept the compliments and know that you are worthy of love, admiration, respect, and so much more. Never undervalue yourself.
Long for happiness People who need emotional healing often wonder when their time of happiness is going to come. Happiness comes when they decide to make it happen for themselves. People often rely on their relationships and friendships for happiness. Happiness is something that already lives within and it is up to you to make it come to light or to dim that light. However, being in the wrong relationship could make you lose focus of that and even make you feel like you never even had that choice to begin with.
Self Conscious It’s okay to be a little self conscious about yourself, even the most successful and most attractive people are. You may be self conscious about your body because you’re still holding on to some baby fat even though your baby is 6 years old. And??? Those curves look good, admire them and work it. Trying to change how you look and how you act is not the way to own your insecurities. That has to be accepted inside of you. Love who you are and you will attract those who will love you.
Doubting yourself You begin doubting everything you do, from what you wear to what you say. You lose yourself so much that you don’t even know how to think clearly enough to stop making yourself feel like you are crazy. Start trusting yourself again and believe in you.
You overthink Your mind goes from 0 to 100 in an instant leaving you drowning in thoughts, even some pretty toxic ones. Overthinking is a clear sign that you have been through trauma before. So, now you think of all the things that could go wrong so that you can try to stop it from happening. You can’t live a great life when you overthink everything. There is no peace in that. Let things be what they are going to be and move on.
You have trust issues You have been lied to so much that even if someone was telling the truth you’d still think you see the lie in their story. Truth comes so rare these days anyway, but that does not mean you can discredit everyone from the get go. Healing is so important because trust is crucial in everyday life. You not only need to trust in your relationships and friendships but also doctors, family, and those you work with.
Anxiety and depression take over After being emotionally hurt for so long, anxiety and depression take over your entire well being. This can make your everyday life so much harder than what it already is. Giving yourself time to heal is vital so that you can get to being whole again and enjoy your life.
Lack of energy Another sign that you need healing is not having the energy for anything. Lack of energy will have you neglect things that you once found joy in like drawing, reading, or even spending time with family and friends. You need to find your energy again and get back to doing things that make you laugh and smile.
Feeling sick all the time As stated before, being emotionally distraught will affect your entire well being. This can range from feeling nauseous everyday, losing your appetite and hardly eating, losing sleep, to having migraines. The list can go on and on. This is a red flag that you are emotionally overwhelmed.
Intuition is gone This one goes hand in hand with doubting yourself. We are taught to trust our gut feeling and go with it, but if you have been in a toxic relationship then you know the gut feeling is almost always manipulated and undermined by that person. You then lose your sense of intuition and are left with uneasy feelings that you continue to ignore. Your intuition said what it said, be wise and listen to it.
Clinging to toxic people And lastly, you are in such a bad place emotionally, mentally, and for some, even physically, but you are so afraid of change and of what could happen. Instead of leaving certain people behind that should be left behind you cling on to them even harder no matter how unhealthy it is for you. You need to break your own heart sometimes to heal your soul.
There is nothing to be afraid of. Change is what makes us stronger and wiser humans. You deserve your peace and freedom from your emotional prison. You need to protect your well being, always. And to do that, you must put yourself first. You need healing and that is never a bad thing. In fact, it will help you gain a new perspective in life and love.