Category: Self- Improvement

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Self- Improvement Self-Care Self-Love

Choose You

This is written for the person who is always bending over backward for every one else and leaves her/himself for last. This is for the person who chooses everyone else and forgets they also need to be chosen. This is for the person who runs to everyone else when they are in need, and forgets they have needs, too. This is for you.

You have neglected yourself. You are tired and exhausted, but you keep going even though your feet are dragging through the mud leaving your trace of self-abandonment. You have lost your sense of desire…. You’re much to weary to worry about your wants and needs. Besides, you have to stay focused on everyone else and their desiderata.

Except you don’t! It’s time to leave everyone’s responsibilites to them. Choose you. Choose you everyday.

Choose you from the moment you wake up, to the moment you hit the bed to dream away.

It’s okay to want to help those around you, especially those you love dearly. However, it is more important to put everyone else aside from time to time and focus on you and only you. Selfish? No. Not at all. More like necessity. You HAVE to choose you. You have to put others behind you, and put yourself first in line. You don’t have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t owe anyone anything. But you do have to be your own hero, because you owe yourself everything. Know when enough is enough.

How many nights have you cried yourself to sleep from the stressful day you experineced and feel like you can take no more? You’re not even exhausted from tending to your own needs, but to the needs of others. Perhaps, you were the middle man keeping the peace between two people who don’t know how to handle their own mess. Maybe you were busy trying to talk sense into someone who doens’t even want the help, but there you are pouring your entire all into this person. You have got to know when it is time to stop pouring.

Pour No More

Pour into yourself, instead. You are the one who is going to be with you until the end. You are the one who your own body is depending on. Your body isn’t shouting to the world, “Help me, I need help NOW!”, its shouting those words to you. To choose yourself is to hear your body asking for you. To choose you, you are choosing you over any drama, any disrespect, and anymore neglect. Choose you over the people who whisper when you are away, but try to reel you back in when they feel like it or are bored. Choose you when the next person says, “Hey, I can’t do this but maybe you can do it for me.”, yet when you are drowning in your own ocean of bad thoughts, they leave you lifeless down there.

It’s good to help people and to love others. The problem is helping people and loving those who take from you more than they give. It’s not that you should do things to get things back in return. No, but perhaps those you do things for and give a helping hand to every single time, could at least call and check up on you when its not just convenient for them. That is how you will know who really is for you and who really is for what you can offer. That is the difference. Know it and Choose you.

Choose you over the people that pretend to like you, but in reality wish so much against you. Even your own family will do that to you. Let them be and wish them the best while you choose you. Everytime a situation that causes disruption in your peace presents itself, choose you. Choose you over every and anything. Even within yourslef you may have negative thoughts that torment you and make you feel worthless. Shatter those thoughts with your actions by choosing you and taking the time to really love, listen, and be there for you.

Choose you Always.

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Self- Improvement

Be Intentional about Staying Motivated

Staying motivated to reach your goals and follow through with your plans has got to be one of the easiest, yet hardest tasks to do. At the beginning of the year, I had a few things that I wanted to stay on top of at least for a few months…. I was halfway in January and that plan had already gone to shhh…. Well, why even say!

I even bought myself a new bullet journal to draw and scribble out my thoughts and ideas of my road to success. I stayed on it for a few days… Which was a really good thing, Even that surprised me! However, I really thought I could have kept up for at least the full month of January.

Now, Let’s be honest…. It’s super easy to say to one another that in order to reach your goals you have to be consistent and want to achieve this. But it is quite possible to want to achieve your goals, and get knocked off track due to the high demands of life. I get it, boy do I get it! I haven’t written a blog in a month, so trust me when I say, I GET IT!

So, I thought of what I changed this time around that has helped me stay motivated. It’s simply about BEING INTENTIONAL!

Write it out step by step
Yes, writing things out actually does help your process in anything! Feeling down, write it down. Feeling stressed, write it down. Have too much on your mind that you need to get done, write it down. Have a journal ready or even write it down in your calendar. Check it off each day after completing the task. In my bullet journal, I have my days of the month written out and each day one of my many tasks is to read Four books to my son before bed time. Everyday, I open up my bullet journal and check each of my tasks off. It helps, but you have to keep up with the other 3 steps below to stay persistent with this. Everyday tasks are what lead up to your reached goals. It’s a process that does take time, but everyday you accomplish that task is what makes anything achievable. Be intentional in writing things out and staying persistent with it.

Time blocks every day
Schedule time blocks into your day, DAILY! Without this you will find yourself too busy to carry out these tasks. This is the reason why we don’t stay consistent, because we don’t MAKE time. We typically make goals, write out our plans, and land to this point where most goals/plans fall through. Life will always be too busy and will still throw challenges your way to further distract you. Our excuse is ALWAYS, “I don’t have time”. “I couldn’t do it today, but tomorrow I’ll get to it”. “I was too busy today….” We have all used these phrases and they suck! Time isn’t going to fall on your lap to help you get these things done. You have to take it upon yourself to block time for you. Whether it is to make time for meditation for 15 mins. or to workout for 30 mins or even to just kick your feet up and destress for 10 mins, this all has to be done by you making the time for it. Time blocks are 100% effective! Be intentional about it to make it happen.

Just do it
No one wakes up at 5am and is excited to jump out of bed and start their HIIT workout. But the one thing you have to train your mind to do is to – Just Do It! You are never going to want to do what is challenging in life. The easy road- Oh, how we love it! Though, where does it lead us really? To the same spot that we are already in. If you want changes in your life, you’ve got to start changing that part of your mind. That doesn’t only go for the HIIT work out aspect of your life, but going to work, getting started on your own business and dealing with all kinds of dead-ends and headaches. It also goes for changing your mind from thinking the usual negative thoughts you think of on the daily to positive ones that will push you to keep moving forward in confidence. It goes for anything and everything. Hear me when I tell you, JUST DO IT! Don’t even give yourself the chance to change your own mind about going after something. Just go and do it, get it, accomplish it, own it! You are the only one stopping you from doing what needs to be done to stay motivated enough to get to where you truly want to be.

Sit with that feeling of accomplishment afterward
Lastly, this is the one step that will motivate you enough to want to do it again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and so on. This one step is the one that makes all the difference! We all enjoy that sense of accomplishment. Even as kids it made us feel good about ourselves. Remember counting to 10 without skipping any numbers and giving your mom a high five because you did it! You knew you accomplished something! It’s no different now. It’s human nature to live for that feeling again, that feeling of, “WE DID IT!”. No matter how big or how small, that feeling is the best and perhaps the one feeling that will keep you pushing forward toward your tasks. Enjoy that feeling when you feel your muscles burning after your 1 hour long workout. Enjoy that feeling when you mark that goal off your list. Enjoy that feeling when you finally made the decision to stick with your plans for the day and were intentional about it. Sit with it so you can want it even more the next day.

Intentionally Motivated

Being intentional about staying motivated is a certain way to reach your many goals without getting side tracked by everything else that is going on in your life. Being intentional helps you stay focused on the prize- the prize of feeling better about your self-worth, the prize of finally accomplishing what you have been accomplishing for the past 3 years, etc. Be intentional about staying motivated and just see the difference and how far it gets you. You’ll wonder why you never thought of this concept before. As I said in the beginning of this article, staying on track is one of the easiest, yet hardest things to do. It all depends on you.

Categories
Family Friends Self- Improvement

Mending Broken Bridges

Having pride can be such a wonderful thing and a positive personality trait to have. But oh, how having pride can also be a selfish trait that tears your most valued relationships apart. Letting your pride come between you and those you love is not only damaging to you and them, but to everyone in the middle.

In families and even in friendships, there will be disagreements about many things. The best thing you can do is agree to disagree and move on from that subject. Not always is that the case, however.

Many times we let ourselves get caught up in the moment and get overheated that instead of taking things with a grain of salt, we insist on getting our point across and let words slip right off of our tongue’s without thinking about the consequences or how deep those words cut. Sometimes, it’s not just our words that hit hard, but our actions.

I was watching an episode of “This Is Us” and there was a scene where Kevin told his adopted brother, Russell, “I used to think the worst day of my life was when dad died, but it was the day they brought you home.” Though, this is just a television series things like this happen in real life and words can’t be taken back. A few scenes later Kevin regretted what he had said, but instead of apologizing to his brother Randall, when he saw him a few days after he just tried to be nice and strike up a conversation about anything, really. As if that would fix what had happened between them a few days before or make up for the words that were already said.

Beating around the bush does not mean the elephant isn’t in the room. Pretending like y’all have moved on is not a fix to any problem. You cannot just sweep things under the rug hoping the issue will disappear. Sometimes, In life there will be times that you are wrong… actually, many times… and all you can do to make things right is take responsibility, apologize, and learn how to control your reactions and your words.

We are human and it is inevitable that we will find ourselves in such a predicament that will urge us to say and do hurtful things to another out of anger. However, being angry does not justify such behavior. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is gather your belongings and leave before things take an ugly turn.

On a different note if things have already gotten out of hand, knowing when you are wrong and taking accountability for what you have done is what matters after that point. This is where pride usually stands in the way for many.

Things can be different when you take accountability resulting in mending relationships. Many Marriages fail simply from being too prideful. No one wants to look weak and apologize or accept apologies from the other. Relationships between siblings or parents and children suffer the same. All for what, your pride?

We are all human, we all make wrong choices, say wrong things, and react in not such great ways from time to time. Is you not wanting to say sorry because you don’t want to look dumb or weak or be rejected worth losing your close relationship with your brothers and sisters? Are you really that afraid to show that you have a conscience and have a heart that you would rather lose your childhood friend to a disagreement? Are you so ashamed to admit you could be wrong that you would rather ignore your spouse and best friend for the next few months possibly risking getting a divorce over something so minute?

Life is short. Grudges are a waste of time that we can’t get back. At the end of the day your pride could be ruining your time with someone who would run to you in an instant to help you. You only have one family, make things right. Your wife/husband probably has no clue how you feel or how hurt/angry you are and needs to understand, but you aren’t teaching them your needs. Communicate. There is nothing weak about a person who acknowledges their wrongdoings and owns up to them.

Absolutely, boundaries are needed and some things just shouldn’t be said or done, but there is nothing worse than waking up one day knowing you missed your opportunity to speak to them again, to change your prideful ways, to hug, laugh, kiss, and enjoy them…. to say sorry and start fresh again.

If you aren’t speaking to someone over money, remember money comes and goes. If you aren’t speaking to someone because you have different opinions over politics or what is happening in the world, leave it alone, everyone is entitled to their opinion and they won’t be the last to disagree with you. If someone has gone above and beyond, bent over backwards for you, given you a hand when you were at your lowest, fix things with them because you will never find anyone with that kind of heart and love again.

Whether you have grown apart from your mom and dad, your sister or brother, or even your own kids due to your hurtful words or actions, it is up to you to make things right. Reach out, open up, and talk to them. Mend the quarrel. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong and accept apologies from those who hurt you. “I’m Sorry” never made things worse, but brought people back together. Reach out and make a new beginning before it’s too late.

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Self- Improvement

Build Your Self-Esteem Back Up

The confidence you carry around with you tells a story. It gives people a preview of what you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself, and how much you value yourself and your time. Your self-esteem is loud with your presence, and you want what it has to say to be spectacular.

You want to walk into a room and people take notice in how confident you are. Your self-esteem sets the tone for how they will approach you. Someone with high self-esteem knows that they are worthy and nothing can bring their head down causing that crown to tilt, not even a bit.

Confidence and self-esteem go hand and hand with one another, like salt and pepper. You cannot have low self-esteem and be confident within yourself or vice versa. So, if you have been down on yourself and have a low self-esteem that is getting in the way of you living your best life, then here are some sure ways to help build that baby back up!

Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem Back Up

Workout
There is no better way to give your self-image a boost and gain confidence than to get back into shape. This is not going to happen overnight, but when you get that 15 min. or 30 min. workout in for the day, that immediately helps you feel better about yourself already. Increasing your self-esteem little by little is key. Nothing is too little and nothing is too much when it comes to you.

Set small, but reachable goals
Setting the right goals can lead to personal growth, increasing your self-esteem. Knowing that you have accomplished things and can cross them off your list is a great feeling. These goals don’t have to be huge, but small and achievable ones that add up will help complete the bigger picture. These goals can be anything from volunteering once a month at a church, learning a new word every week, slowly incorporating a healthy side to all your meals, to simply waking up earlier than usual everyday. Again, nothing is too little or too much.

Get out of the house more often
Socializing is a bit more challenging these days with COVID threatening everyone’s health. However, you can still get out of the house to enjoy some sunshine and fresh air. Meet some friends at a nearby park and catch up while wearing your masks. Go to a store just to browse around. Visit a frozen yogurt shop and sit outdoors while enjoying your snack. Just getting out of the house a little more and seeing the different sceneries will boost your mood.

Dress up everyday
The way you look augments your self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong, comfort is important. However, if you are always in your pj’s or sweats and your hair is up in a bun, then that doesn’t give you much motivation. It gives you a feeling of laziness and chill and that’s great for Sunday’s. But for all other days, dress up, curl your hair, and do your make-up. You’ll see just how much your self-esteem goes up with that little doing. Aesthetically pleasing attire contributes a big portion to self-esteem and confidence.

Focus on your growth
Human beings often look at others to calculate how well they are doing in their own lives. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Everyone is at a different level in their lives and no one took the same path. One may have started sooner than someone else, so there is no need to compare where you are in your life. Keep your eyes on your prize, focus on you, your growth, and accomplishments. Be proud of every little step you take, because every step, big or small, leads to your personal growth.

Choose Happiness
There will be things that happen in life, good and bad, and it is important to let those things be what they are and keep smiling. Choose Happiness in everything you do and everything you go through… Choose Happiness. Choosing to be happy during your bad times and getting through that point will make you realize how strong you really are and how much of what you do makes a huge difference to you. To increase your self-esteem, always Choose happiness.

What Is Your Story Telling Others?

When you have a healthy self-esteem you tend to think positively about yourself and are optimistic about life even during challenges. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that should matter to you. Make positive changes, challenge yourself, live a life that is in line with your own principles, and Love yourself. What is your self-esteem telling others about you?

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Relationships Self- Improvement Self-Care Self-Love

A Prisoner of Love

Being in love is painful ONLY when the one you love is the wrong person for you. The person that you choose to spend your days and nights with, the one you share your body with and connect with, the one who you think will protect you is the same person who is destroying you. That is a hard pill to swallow – to know that the relationship that means so much to you is the same one making you sick.

You see women who are stuck in physical, mental, and/or emotional abusive relationships and you can’t help but wonder, “Why won’t she just leave him?” She wants to, but she is scared. She knows she deserves better, but decides to give it another chance, because this time he just may change. Little does she know, she is deepening the sharp spikes of barb wires inside her skin and the pain will only worsen with time. The cuts will be so deep that her scar tissue will never heal affecting not only her body, but also her mind, heart, soul, and HEALTH.

Affects On Your Health

Yes! Being in such a bad relationship can LITERALLY make you sick. I mean nausea and vomiting, headaches, depression, anxiety, weight loss or weight gain, poor appetite, hair loss, and even cause illnesses to fall upon you due to the stress and misery that you are holding onto ever so tightly. Staying when you know it’s time to go will only prolong the pain.

Your relationship affects your health in ways that you wouldn’t have thought so. What we feel and think on a daily basis needs an outlet. Bottled up emotions find their way out, eventually. When you cannot handle your feelings in a healthy manner such as talking about the problems in the relationship and coming up with solutions or couples therapy, your cup of emotions begins to overflow and manifestations of ailments start to present themselves.

Emotions within our hearts sends signals to our brain and the quality of that signal determines what our brain does in response to that emotion. Therefore, if you constantly feel rage, jealousy, fear, and sadness in your relationship then that will cause disease, inner damage, and that state of resistance that is within you further disrupts your health.

Know When to Leave

Being trapped in a bad relationship is not only detrimental to your mental state and emotions, but also your physical health. And I do say trapped, because that is exactly how many feel. You have the choice to get out of an unhealthy relationship, but your feelings are tangled up in barb wire that it hurts to be in it just as badly as it hurts thinking about exiting. It really is like having withdrawals from the one person you love, but who is no good for you.

While in a bad relationship, your health is getting a beating every single day. Your body will, sooner or later, get weak causing your immune system to also weaken and attract illnesses. You will be left with no choice than to make some changes in your life.

If you feel that you are stuck in a bad relationship and have already seen the changes within yourself, then it is time to find your very own strength and pull those barb wire spikes out one by one, NOW. No matter the pain and suffering that you will feel while your skin is ripping off with those wires, you have to do it to get better. You just have to.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

You must remember that working on a relationship and suffering in a relationship are two completely different things. Don’t get yourself caught up and confused. You can rise from anything and completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent and you are not stuck.

You have to cut ties with that person who is destroying you and also cut ties with the version of you who allowed that to happen in order to be healthy again. I’m telling you, this does affect your health! Stop trying to dodge the process of letting the one who doesn’t deserve your love go, its the only way to grow. Get the strength to say, ” I love you, but you’re no longer worth this pain.

When you choose a life partner you are choosing someone who will affect everything in your life: Your mental health, your peace of mind, the love that lives inside you, how you get through life’s trials, and so much more…. Choose wisely. You cannot carry this baggage that is holding your health hostage any longer. Don’t be a prisoner of love.

Categories
Mental Health Self- Improvement Self-Care

Find Yourself Again

Your life is crumbling down in a whirlwind of chaos. It may be that your marriage is falling apart right before your eyes. Perhaps, you recently discovered your teenager is using drugs. Or maybe you just received catastrophic news about a loved one. These are all traumatic events that happen in life everyday to someone leaving them feeling destroyed, confused, and lost.

You may begin to question yourself on a daily basis, “Where did I go wrong?” “What do I do now?” “How do I move on from this?”. Truth be told, sometimes things just happen to good people and you have no choice but to keep moving forward, regardless what the situation was that occurred. During these tough times, as ironic as it sounds, what helps the most is – Solitude. Gain your individuality again. Learn who you are as a one person. Embrace your feelings of sadness, terror, anger, and uncertainty. To find yourself again, you have to know what you are feeling and instead of fighting those feelings back you have to face them head on.

After dealing with the emotions that have run through you only then will you manage to move forward and leave those feelings behind. It’s time for a change. You may not be who you were before, but instead you are now someone who is stronger and wiser through this impactful experience. This has given you a chance to regain perspective in your life that has most likely been changed in a drastic way. Solitude gives you a chance to work on yourself after being hurt, lied to, cheated on, betrayed, or your views of someone who was important to you have changed. You have to change to remold your character after being crushed. This occurrence that left you unrecognizable to yourself may not be easy to accept, but to find yourself you must accept what has transpired. You don’t like it, but it happened. The more you fight to accept this the harder it will be to find yourself and the deeper the pit you will fall into.

When you lose yourself its not just about finding your character again, but also restoring your self-esteem. Chances are that what you went through also left you feeling really low about yourself. It set you back a million steps, I know the feeling. Give yourself the pep talks that you need daily. Love yourself again. Accept your imperfections, because we all have them. Listen to you. No one knows you better than you, so listen to yourself. You may now have a new tug-o’-war relationship with self doubt, so changing your mindset during this time is also necessary.

We can’t change what comes hitting us like a ton of bricks, but we can find ourselves when we are left with an identity crisis after a psychological shock. You have to know that things happen for a reason and we don’t always get the answers why. It’s not an easy journey finding yourself, but it is necessary. The best part of getting lost though, is finding who you really are. Find yourself, you’ll discover that you love whom you’ve become.

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Self- Improvement

6 Steps to Reaching Your Goals

Goals are part of everyone’s lives whether they know it or not. Some goals are for fun while others are necessary to improve the quality of life. Many common goals that we often hear about are weight loss goals. However, there are different needs for everyone. Someone’s goal may be to cut back on their pain killers, because its affecting their life negatively. Meanwhile, someone else’s goal is to save money to go to Disney World. No matter what the goal is that you are trying to reach, know that it is reachable and it can be done. This particular goal has already been achieved by someone else perhaps in a different way, none the less, you too can achieve this in your own way.

Achieving goals have a way of making us feel accomplished. It gives us the inspiration that is essential to aim for things we never thought possible. It pushes us to live our best lives. Reaching our goals give us even more reason to get up everyday and be the best that we can be. Here are a few steps that I think will help you reach your goal no matter what it is.

1. Choose one goal at a time:
Working towards multiple goals can have you feeling unfocused. You must choose one goal to accomplish at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed and quitting before you even begin. This is where patience and prioritizing plays an integral part in your goal planning.

2. Live everyday toward that goal:
You have to constantly push yourself higher and harder everyday until you reach your goal. This formula is your key to success. You can’t skip one day. It gets hard, it gets tiring, but if you stop now you risk taking another break tomorrow and so on, causing you to eventually give up on your goal.

3. Have a strong desire and will to achieve that goal:
You have to want to reach your goal in order for you to reach your goal. You must be disciplined enough to work toward it even when it feels impossible to keep going. There will be long days, but you must have the burning desire needed to pull it off.

4. Envision your goal already being reached:
To reach your dreams you have to picture it in your mind daily. Create your vision. Hold it in your mind. Write it out or draw a picture. This allows you to feel it, hear it, and want it so much that you become unstoppable.

5. Remind yourself why you want to reach that goal:
There is a reason why this goal is on your list. Whether it is for self-improvement or a life or death situation, you must remind yourself the importance of achieving this. This is the one thing that will keep you hanging on when you feel like giving up.

6. Do not stray from your plan to reach that goal:
You have a plan, now you have to stick with it. Yes, there may be changes here and there and there will certainly be hurdles you have to jump over, but this process is totally worth it. Stick to your plan regardless of the changes that will be made throughout the entire time.

Don’t wait until you have reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Every step you take everyday toward reaching your goal is progress and that in itself is something to be proud of. You can’t do it all today, but you can do it. Remember: Rome wasn’t built in one day. Your goals can be reached with persistence, patience, and actions toward their direction every single day. Now, are you ready to reach your goals?

Categories
Career Self- Improvement

Is It Time to Leave Your Job?

Having a job gives a sense of accomplishment and security. Knowing you can pay your bills every month and have some money left over to splurge on yourself is rewarding. None the less, what happens when that is no longer the case and you are left with a dreadful feeling about your workplace? You wake up every morning despising the fact that you are going to walk through the doors of a place that makes your blood pressure rise as soon as you step one foot in.

There comes a point in time where we have to question certain aspects of our lives. One important category that may need some reviewing over is our career, “Is it time to leave this job?”. Here are some ques that you might have missed that point to a different direction from that one that is leading to your current job.

You Are Miserable
Being dissatisfied at a workplace is quite common and in most cases temporary. People often lack the motivation or maybe they just need to see things in a different perspective to appreciate the job. However, if there is nothing that can make you change your views about the one place you spend most of your time at other than home, then it may be time to start looking to make the move.

You Can’t Speak Up
Giving feedback during a meeting or perhaps pitching some ideas in private to your manager that will help the pace or production of the business should always be welcomed. If you cannot speak up whether it is because you are a woman, a minority, or simply because they do not value your opinion, this could mean big problems for the company from you or from someone else who may also run into the same ludicrous issue. It is best to grow professionally someplace else where your suggestions will be appreciated.

You Are Verbally Abused By Your Boss
Being blatantly mistreated by your supervisor is unacceptable. No one should ever have to deal with that type of behavior. Every human being is deserving of respect. There should be absolutely no name calling, doors slammed in your face, or even being belittled and humiliated. Any type of disrespect as such should be addressed immediately. This is a clear sign that a healthy workplace is lacking here.

Your Health Isn’t Important To Your Employer
Your well-being should matter to your employer. If you just had a miscarriage and your manager still expects you to show up for work the next day, then it is time for you to move on to something better. A work culture that discourages the well-being of their employees is insulting and should be avoided at all costs. Your health should always come first and if you cannot be supported and given the time to heal and recover, then you are better off to dissociate from a bad work environment.

Lack Of Motivation
You are not interested in doing this anymore and you cannot figure out why. You are stuck in a rut here. Moving up the corporate ladder is out of the question. This could be a waste of your time as well as wrecking your self esteem. You aren’t using your full potential and all the skillsets you have to offer. Do not sell yourself short. Go after what you know you can accomplish. Get your motivation back even if its in a totally different field of work you are in now.

Maxed Out On Pay Raises/Bonuses
You have already reached the highest pay rate you will get for your services at this particular company, so what do you do next? Are you okay doing the job with no promotion or raise year after year? These are some questions that will help you figure out if it is time to start thinking about your next move for your future.

The Job Was Suppose To Be Temporary
You got this job to help get you back on your feet. Perhaps, You are too comfortable to leave now. There is no advancement where you are, but you are afraid to make a change. Settling will not get you to where you want to be. Challenge yourself and go after what you want and deserve.

With the right job you will not have to question if you are in the right workforce. You will have reached your career goal that involves your interests and values. You will have job satisfaction with a stable income that you know will continue to increase alongside your years of experience and education. Most importantly, you will not be tormented with the thought of having to go to work the next day and even while at work you should have a sense of satisfaction and content. Feelings of uncertainty about a job are often temporary, but if you cannot seem to get that funk feeling that resides within you regarding your current place of work, then the question is appropriate for you – Is it time to leave your job?

Categories
Self- Improvement Self-Care

6 Things Every Lady Should Do Before Leaving the House

Motivation in the morning is a hard task to accomplish especially if it’s a Monday morning. We have all been there! You wake up already dreading the day and you aren’t even aware of the challenges that are waiting for you. But did you know that what you do in the morning sets your tone for the rest of your day? When you are motivated in the morning you are productive the rest of the day. Keep your energy levels high!

I know that our morning routines are already time consuming from getting our hair right and our makeup on point to that cute outfit that will have us turning heads, but these next 6 steps are just as important to have that positive vibe from the beginning of the day to the end. It is said that breakfast is a meal that should not be skipped, well I say these steps are like the breakfast to your soul. Be ready to tackle the day and enjoy every moment of it.

Meditate/ Pray
Everyone has their own way of soothing themselves and finding that inner peace that we need for the day. Some may meditate and others will pray. Whether you need encouragement or peace, this is a good way to begin your day to really get your mind focused on the good and humbled enough to meet the days’ challenges with integrity and wholeness.

Affirmations in the mirror
Affirmations are positive statements that help overcome self sabotaging and negative thoughts, which we all have. And the best time to do that, if not all day, is in the morning right before entering the daily hustle and bustle of the world. Look at yourself in the mirror and talk yourself up. We all need daily reminders that we are amazing and who else will give us nonstop compliments if it’s not us?!
Try these few affirmations while looking yourself in the eye and truly believing it:
“I am filled with joy and happiness today.” ” I am strong and confident.” “No need to compare Myself to others, I am perfect in my own way.” “I am unstoppable.” “I am free from anything that is not positive today.” “I have everything I need to succeed.” “I am valuable and worthy.”

Take a look at your long and short term goals
Every ambitious woman has her list of short and long term goals. If you have your list, frame it and keep it next to your mirror. Take a look at it every morning after getting dressed, to remind yourself of what you need to do to get to where you want to be. If you do not have your list yet, then go make it! Visualizing your future will help you stay focused in accomplishing your dream.

Dance
Dancing helps reduce stress and increases levels of the “feel good” hormone called serotonin. Feeling good right before leaving the house for a long day at work is what everybody needs to get through the day. Put some of your favorite jams on and dance your heart out like you’re performing for the VMAs!

Spray on your favorite perfume
Just like a cute dress, a good perfume can boost your confidence. Women’s faces are rated as more attractive in the presence of a pleasant smell, a study showed. Attraction is not only about good looks, but the way you smell can really catch the eye.

Wear that smile with Pride
Put that gorgeous smile on your sweet face and brighten up everyone’s day. A smile truly goes a long way. Just by smiling at a stranger that you pass will cause them to smile in return thus making them forget their troubles for that instant. By the way, a study found that the stronger the smile, the more attractive a face looked, so go on, Girl, grin like there is no tomorrow and makes someone’s day!

Your day is pretty much formed by how you spend your first hour. Check your thoughts, attitude, and heart. Either you run the day or the day will run you. You choose. Always remember to keep your head up, not your nose up, and wear that crown like the true queen that you are. Go rock the hell out of your days!

Categories
Self- Improvement Self-Care

Let it go!

As I am sitting in my rocking chair staring out the window, I notice it is a great day. A great day to be happy, to love, and most challenging, but best of all, a great day to finally let go and forgive. We have all been betrayed or hurt by someone we cared deeply for at some point in our lives and some of us are still holding on to the pain. Not only are we allowing the wound to continue bleed out and remain wide open, but we are also allowing it to change us into bitter human beings and turning our hearts to ice. Think: Do you really want to continue hurting while the person(s) who caused the damage already forgot about it or just doesn’t care and is living their best life worry-free? Its time to let it go.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/media/content/images/cr/9046f07a-d71a-4c1e-9d22-7661dd2e5de6.jpg

Now, I understand forgiving is a lot easier said than done (Believe me, it took me years to understand this concept), but learning to let it go (As Elsa says) has helped my heart profoundly. I did a number of things to get me through the process and I am happy to announce that everyone that was on my sh*t list has been crossed off. Whether if we remained friends or I have cut ties with them, they were forgiven.

Let’s make one thing very clear, forgiving the person who hurt you does not make you weak. Forgiving is a characteristic of a strong and wise person. I am sure you all have heard this before and its absolutely true- “Forgiving others isn’t for them, but its for you”. It helps unclog that heart of yours from hate and bitterness and makes room for love, happiness, peace and calmness. That is when really living for yourself begins.

You see, when you hold onto that grudge, you aren’t living a very fulfilling life. You are living a life consumed by hatred and misery. You’re mad at them. You want to call them out on their behavior. You want so bad to get even. That is a lot of energy to spend on one person that hurt you. Even then, afterwards, you are still hurt. You spent nearly all day if not the whole day thinking of them and they could care less how you feel toward them.

What helped me realize that being angry at those who hurt me was making me ugly on the inside was that I would wake up with that heaviness in me. It was a burden that was causing me to think too much about those who really weren’t thinking of me. It was beginning to take a toll on my health: causing headaches, changing my appetite (some days I would over eat and some days I wasn’t feeling hungry at all), I would have mood swings, and a major one- it was depressing me. It really was like I was walking around with a ball and chain around my ankle.

Make a list

So, I began by making a list of those who wronged me at one point or another. For some, it may be your spouse or may be your very own family. Next to their names, I wrote what it was that they did that hurt me. I put that list away.

Journaling

I then began my journey of Gratitude and Self Love journaling. Keeping a journal helped me by switching my focus from the negative to the positive. It helped me to be more thankful for friends who have always stood by my side. It taught me to have gratitude for my job. I began realizing that I am truly blessed – from the family I came from to the family I created. I even grew spiritually.

Self help books

Reading self help books such as, “The Book of Joy” by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams and “The 12 Week Year” by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington, to name a couple, was another step I took during this process.

Back to step one

By this point, I started noticing that the little things were making me smile as if I had forgotten that they existed. Flowers, butterflies, the sky…. I really was taking notice to these things again and they would leave me with a smile. That’s when I knew I was ready to get my list out and start making amends with the list – one name at a time. Really y’all, just like that I was able to let that sh*t go and live for me. I became a better version of myself not to mention a better mother!

I know you may think your pain is too deep to ever let go of, but you can, you have to! It may even be scary to dig up those feelings that you spent all of these years burying down. I am telling you, its worth it! You got this, you can do it. Don’t wait until tomorrow, you’re definitely worth it today. Take back your life. Be a happier you.