Self-Love Archives -

This is written for the person who is always bending over backward for every one else and leaves her/himself for last. This is for the person who chooses everyone else and forgets they also need to be chosen. This is for the person who runs to everyone else when they are in need, and forgets they have needs, too. This is for you.

You have neglected yourself. You are tired and exhausted, but you keep going even though your feet are dragging through the mud leaving your trace of self-abandonment. You have lost your sense of desire…. You’re much to weary to worry about your wants and needs. Besides, you have to stay focused on everyone else and their desiderata.

Except you don’t! It’s time to leave everyone’s responsibilites to them. Choose you. Choose you everyday.

Choose you from the moment you wake up, to the moment you hit the bed to dream away.

It’s okay to want to help those around you, especially those you love dearly. However, it is more important to put everyone else aside from time to time and focus on you and only you. Selfish? No. Not at all. More like necessity. You HAVE to choose you. You have to put others behind you, and put yourself first in line. You don’t have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t owe anyone anything. But you do have to be your own hero, because you owe yourself everything. Know when enough is enough.

How many nights have you cried yourself to sleep from the stressful day you experineced and feel like you can take no more? You’re not even exhausted from tending to your own needs, but to the needs of others. Perhaps, you were the middle man keeping the peace between two people who don’t know how to handle their own mess. Maybe you were busy trying to talk sense into someone who doens’t even want the help, but there you are pouring your entire all into this person. You have got to know when it is time to stop pouring.

Pour No More

Pour into yourself, instead. You are the one who is going to be with you until the end. You are the one who your own body is depending on. Your body isn’t shouting to the world, “Help me, I need help NOW!”, its shouting those words to you. To choose yourself is to hear your body asking for you. To choose you, you are choosing you over any drama, any disrespect, and anymore neglect. Choose you over the people who whisper when you are away, but try to reel you back in when they feel like it or are bored. Choose you when the next person says, “Hey, I can’t do this but maybe you can do it for me.”, yet when you are drowning in your own ocean of bad thoughts, they leave you lifeless down there.

It’s good to help people and to love others. The problem is helping people and loving those who take from you more than they give. It’s not that you should do things to get things back in return. No, but perhaps those you do things for and give a helping hand to every single time, could at least call and check up on you when its not just convenient for them. That is how you will know who really is for you and who really is for what you can offer. That is the difference. Know it and Choose you.

Choose you over the people that pretend to like you, but in reality wish so much against you. Even your own family will do that to you. Let them be and wish them the best while you choose you. Everytime a situation that causes disruption in your peace presents itself, choose you. Choose you over every and anything. Even within yourslef you may have negative thoughts that torment you and make you feel worthless. Shatter those thoughts with your actions by choosing you and taking the time to really love, listen, and be there for you.

Choose you Always.

Being in love is painful ONLY when the one you love is the wrong person for you. The person that you choose to spend your days and nights with, the one you share your body with and connect with, the one who you think will protect you is the same person who is destroying you. That is a hard pill to swallow – to know that the relationship that means so much to you is the same one making you sick.

You see women who are stuck in physical, mental, and/or emotional abusive relationships and you can’t help but wonder, “Why won’t she just leave him?” She wants to, but she is scared. She knows she deserves better, but decides to give it another chance, because this time he just may change. Little does she know, she is deepening the sharp spikes of barb wires inside her skin and the pain will only worsen with time. The cuts will be so deep that her scar tissue will never heal affecting not only her body, but also her mind, heart, soul, and HEALTH.

Affects On Your Health

Yes! Being in such a bad relationship can LITERALLY make you sick. I mean nausea and vomiting, headaches, depression, anxiety, weight loss or weight gain, poor appetite, hair loss, and even cause illnesses to fall upon you due to the stress and misery that you are holding onto ever so tightly. Staying when you know it’s time to go will only prolong the pain.

Your relationship affects your health in ways that you wouldn’t have thought so. What we feel and think on a daily basis needs an outlet. Bottled up emotions find their way out, eventually. When you cannot handle your feelings in a healthy manner such as talking about the problems in the relationship and coming up with solutions or couples therapy, your cup of emotions begins to overflow and manifestations of ailments start to present themselves.

Emotions within our hearts sends signals to our brain and the quality of that signal determines what our brain does in response to that emotion. Therefore, if you constantly feel rage, jealousy, fear, and sadness in your relationship then that will cause disease, inner damage, and that state of resistance that is within you further disrupts your health.

Know When to Leave

Being trapped in a bad relationship is not only detrimental to your mental state and emotions, but also your physical health. And I do say trapped, because that is exactly how many feel. You have the choice to get out of an unhealthy relationship, but your feelings are tangled up in barb wire that it hurts to be in it just as badly as it hurts thinking about exiting. It really is like having withdrawals from the one person you love, but who is no good for you.

While in a bad relationship, your health is getting a beating every single day. Your body will, sooner or later, get weak causing your immune system to also weaken and attract illnesses. You will be left with no choice than to make some changes in your life.

If you feel that you are stuck in a bad relationship and have already seen the changes within yourself, then it is time to find your very own strength and pull those barb wire spikes out one by one, NOW. No matter the pain and suffering that you will feel while your skin is ripping off with those wires, you have to do it to get better. You just have to.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

You must remember that working on a relationship and suffering in a relationship are two completely different things. Don’t get yourself caught up and confused. You can rise from anything and completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent and you are not stuck.

You have to cut ties with that person who is destroying you and also cut ties with the version of you who allowed that to happen in order to be healthy again. I’m telling you, this does affect your health! Stop trying to dodge the process of letting the one who doesn’t deserve your love go, its the only way to grow. Get the strength to say, ” I love you, but you’re no longer worth this pain.

When you choose a life partner you are choosing someone who will affect everything in your life: Your mental health, your peace of mind, the love that lives inside you, how you get through life’s trials, and so much more…. Choose wisely. You cannot carry this baggage that is holding your health hostage any longer. Don’t be a prisoner of love.